A friend of my forwarded me an email titled “Dad jokes from my mom.” Naturally I loved it because… PUNS!

• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
• Velcro – what a rip off!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home.   Details are sketchy.
• Be kind to your dentist.   He has fillings, too.