Dilbert goes interactive for punishing those happy at work.
I don’t know about you, but with the amount of time I spend in meetings, I need some work humor. Here are some of the best one liners and jokes about meetings.
On Meeting Length:
I propose a new rule: meetings can not last longer than my laptop battery or my bladder.
There’s a reason they’re called committees. When you’re on one for too long, you start to think about committing something else- suicide, murder, yourself into a mental institute.
On What You Learn in Meetings:
I learn a lot in meetings. For instance, did you know that by bending a paper clip once, you can make a pretty cool ‘S’?
On Nodding in Meetings:
I think the reason we “nod off to sleep” is so it almost looks like we’re just emphatically agreeing whenever we’re in a boring meeting.
On Conference Calls:
I don’t know what ferences are, but based on how I feel about conference calls, I must be proference.
On Early Morning Calls:
My alarm clock broke so I’ve started scheduling early morning calls at the time I want to wake up.
On Meeting Topics:
My biggest issue with meetings is that, despite their name, they are rarely about me.
There’s so much planning and work you have to do for most vacations these days, that you need to take a vacation from the vacation. Between all the stuff you have to get done at work before you leave, and all the stuff you come back to, plus all the planning you have to do for the actual vacation, you come back more tired after your “days off.”
I think the only true vacation is if you just accidentally fall into a coma for like a week. Because then you didn’t waste any extra time preparing for your absence at work, you didn’t have to plan a trip, and people are sympathetic afterwards, so you have plenty of time to catch up once you awaken. Maybe that’s where I’ll go next year: comatose.
Sounds like a fair question to me:
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"
The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
Dress code at work is very important.
What happens when the boss isn't coming in.
Corporate Comedian Dave Fleming with some office humor oneliners.
A short video of some of the stereotypical employees in an office. Which one are you?