It’s great to see them in their natural habitat.
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In honor of April Fool’s Day, here are 10 computer shortcuts you can use for evil pranking a friend. Why would you need to use these? Let’s say your friend or co-worker steps away from his desk for just a few minutes (to get more coffee or go to the bathroom) and foolishly leaves his computer unlocked.
These shortcuts will allow you to use that small window of time to pull a (somewhat) harmless computer prank that’s not only hilarious, but teaches him the value of locking his computer when he steps away.
NOTE: Humor’s Office is not responsible for any damage (physical or mental) these shortcuts may cause. Also all of these shortcuts were tested on Windows 7 / Office 2007, though will likely work on most versions of Windows / Office.
10 Computer Shortcuts You Can Use for Evil
1. Turn on High Contrast
What It Does: Turns on High Contrast mode on a computer screen.
Level of Evilness: 1 – It just changes the display, which is easily reversed.
How to Do It: Hit Left Alt + Left Shift + PrintScreen.
How to Fix It: Hit the same keys: (Left Alt + Left Shift + PrintScreen).
2. Lock the scrolling in Excel.
What It Does: Changes the behavior of Excel so that when you hit the arrow keys, it changes the view, not the cell selection.
Level of Evilness: 2 – Experts in Excel will quickly know what’s going on, but novices will likely be confused / gradually aggravated.
How to Do It: In Excel, hit Scroll Lock.
How to Fix It: Hit Scroll Lock again.
3. Turn the display upside down.
What It Does: Changes the orientation of the computer display to left, right or upside down.
Level of Evilness: 3 – It might confuse people, but is easy to fix and does no permanent damage.
How to Do It: Hit Ctrl+Alt+DownArrowKey (or Left, Right or Up).
How to Fix It: Ctrl+Alt+UpArrowKey.
4. Turn on Computer Beeps.
What It Does: Turns on “ToggleKeys” which makes the computer beep every time you push a lock key (such as Caps Lock).
Level of Evilness: 4 – It doesn’t do any damage and may take awhile to pay off, but it can certainly be annoying when you don’t know why your computer is beeping.
How to Do It: Hold down the NUM LOCK key for five seconds, then hit Yes.
How to Fix It: How down NUM LOCK for five seconds again.
5. Insert Random Text in Word.
What It Does: Inserts random text into Microsoft Word.
Level of Evilness: 5 – It’s pretty easy to remove to random text from a document, but if you put it in the middle of a 30 page proposal, it may take a while to get noticed.
How to Do It: Enter the following into Word: “=rand(x,y)” where x = the number of paragraphs and y = the number of sentences you want.
How to Fix It: Highlight the random text and hit Delete.
6. Make the keyboard seem broken.
What It Does: Turns on FilterKeys which ignores brief or repeated key strokes.
Level of Evilness: 6 – It’s easy to fix but may take some people a long time to even realize FilterKeys is enabled; in the meantime they’ll think their computer is broken or they don’t know how to type.
How to Do It: Hold the right Shift key for 8 seconds, then hit Yes.
How to Fix It: Hold the right Shift key for 8 seconds.
7. Create a Dummy Desktop.
What It Does: Replaces the desktop background with an image of the old desktop background. If you remove the folder icons, it then seem like the computer is not responding / desktop shortcuts won’t open.
Level of Evilness: 7 – Easy to restore unless you delete all of the shortcuts and empty the recycling bin. Incredibly frustrating while you try to figure it out.
How to Do It: Go to the desktop, hit Ctrl+Prnt Screen. Open Microsoft Paint, hit Ctrl+V to copy the screen capture of the image, save the image. Right click on the image, select “Set as Desktop Background.” WindowsKey + D to go the Desktop, Ctrl+A to select all shortcuts, Delete to delete.
How to Fix It: Restore the shortcuts from the Recycling Bin, reset the Desktop background.
8. Change the capitalization in a word document.
What It Does: Changes the case of the selected words (CAPS, no caps, Proper).
Level of Evilness: 8 – It’s pretty easy to fix (with Ctrl+Z) but could be really annoying for large documents if you save/close the document, especially for anything with a lot of acronyms.
How to Do It: In Microsoft Word, highlight a selection (or the entire document by hitting Ctrl+A), then hit Shift+F3 to cycle through: all caps, no caps, proper case.
How to Fix It: Ctrl+Z is the easiest. If you save the document and then exit, Ctrl+Z won’t help. The next best step is to highlight the section and Shift+F3 to proper case (though you will lose in-line capitalization on proper nouns and acronyms).
9. Rename all the files in a folder.
What It Does: Renames all of the files in a folder to the same name (adding a number at the end to prevent duplicates).
Level of Evilness: 9 – Unless you immediately do Ctrl+Z, there’s no easy way to get the original names back.
How to Do It: Go to a folder with files in it. Hit Ctrl+A to Select All, Hit F2 to Rename the first file, Enter the name you want to give to all files, Hit Enter.
How to Fix It: Ctrl+Z can be used until another folder action takes place (such as deleting a file).
10. Cause a Blue Screen of Death on Command.
What It Does: Triggers a BSOD (Blue Screen of Death) any time a specific shortcut is entered.
Level of Evilness: 10 – This takes a bit of pre-work on the computer, but you could conceivably cause a BSOD on a friend’s computer in seconds after it’s been setup.
How to Do It: Enable debugging mode (follow this guide), restart the computer, then hit Ctrl+Scroll Lock (twice) to cause the BSOD.
How to Fix It: Disable debugging mode.
Have any computer shortcuts you use for pranking your co-workers? Share them in the comments? Want to prevent your computer for getting messed with, remember the most important shortcut of all: WindowsKey + L to lock your computer.
The S#!% [Person] says videos started just before the new year with Sh*t Girls Say – Episode 1, created by Kyle Humphrey & Graydon Sheppard. The video was a humorous look at things girls say, and it touched off a wave of similar videos. Now videos in that same style have become a full-blown internet phenomenon, filling the internet with videos of people walking and talking just like little Rory Calhouns.
To keep this somewhat work-related, here are 7 videos that show what various professions are saying. Warning: These videos are Mostly Safe for Work (aside from a few curse words).
1. Lobbyists
Hopefully this isn’t what’s actually being said behind closed doors in D.C.
2. Web Designers
These people work hard every day to help make sure we have an Internet to goof around on.
3. Creative Directors
Apparently this is what managing creatives leads to.
4. Scientists
This might explain why we don’t have flying cars yet. Or superpowers.
5. Project Managers
I was going to write a quip here, but it was out of scope.
6. Bartenders
This guy needs to figure out some way to unwind after work.
7. Programmers
It’s only right that the programmer take on this meme is a subversion of the original idea.
A redditor asked an interesting question: Explain your job in two ways: first making it sound as complicated/hard possible, second as easy/simple.
Here are some of the best descriptions:
Hard: I oversee the process of colliding quadrillions of subatomic particles into other atoms in a precisely controlled fashion in order to generate a self-sustaining chain-reaction, which generates heat in the form of kinetic energy.
Easy: I boil water by hitting really small things with other really small things.
Hard: I’m assessing the effects of ethanol on cognitive tasks including episodic-like memory and neurophysiological markers such as synchronous local field potential oscillations.
Easy: I get rats drunk.
Hard: I creatively detail life experiences targeting senior management of underfunded corporations.
Easy: I am unsuccessfully searching for work.
Hard: I am involved in a multi-disciplinary work environment. I work nine hours a day, with my tasks shifting depending on what is expected of me at the given hour. I am allowed very little say in what goes on, and am expected to follow the word of my superiors to the letter.
Easy: I’m in high school.
Hard: I regularly heat up muscle to around 400 degrees Fahrenheit until the Maillard reaction occurs in which the denatured proteins on the surface of the meat recombine with the sugars present.
Easy: I’m a line cook.
Hard: I have to read my boss’s mind.
Easy: I make marketing material.
Hard: Hydro-ceramic engineer
Easy: Dish washer
Hard: I’m a doctor
Easy: Of philosophy.
