Ponderisms

Some things that make you think (sent to me via email):

  1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
  2. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
  3. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  5. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  6. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out’?
  7. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  8. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  9. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  10. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

My Life is Average

From the website “My Life is Average“:

    1. Today, I realized the word bed actually looks like a bed. MLIA #65250
    2. Today I installed a program and it asked if I had read and agreed to the terms and conditions. I hadn’t, but I clicked ‘yes’ anyway. The program didn’t know I lied, and began to install. MLIA. #10222
    3. Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn’t want my arms to get cold. MLIA #1573
    4. A fortnight ago I finally solved my rubiks cube. I waited two weeks to post this so that I could use the word fortnight. #1237
    5. Today, the whole world came crashing down on me, so I got some tape and stuck the map back onto the wall. MLIA #1364