A brilliant idea for a comedy series and well-executed.
EmailA Quora user asked for some good engineering jokes. See the full thread here, but below are my favorites:
The Glass
Some people say the glass is half full.
Some people say the glass is half empty.
Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
The Human Body
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections.”The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
Free Bike
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did
you get such a great bike?”The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”“The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn’t have fit.”
Going Golfing
A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”
The doctor chimed in,”I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
The priest said, ”Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.”
He said, “Hello, George. What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime.”
The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, ”That’s so sad. I think I’ll say a special prayer for them.”
The ophthalmologist added, “Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there’s anything I can do for them.”
They were silent for a moment.
Then the engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”
Change a Lightbulb
Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. That’s a hardware issue.
The Huffington Post shared a great article on Legendary Tonight Show Debuts. Here are some of the best early appearances from comedians.
1. George Carlin
Here’s video of George Carlin on the Tonight Show when he was still doing his clean act (with no beard and short hair).
2. Eddie Murphy
Eddie was already on SNL at this point but few people knew about his stand-up talents. Here’s one of the racier acts from the Tonight Show’s history.
3. Steven Wright
Steven Wright was one of the first of a group of comedians who came out of Boston, with this being his first TV show appearance.
4. Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen was the first female stand-up to get invited over to the desk, in her first appearance no less.
The funniest jokes from a survey of the Top 50 Funniest Jokes:
- (This was ranked #1): A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
- I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
- Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.
- Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” I asked. ”It’s not unusual” he replied.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
- A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
- A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “because,” he said “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
- I was in Tesco’s and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, “Are you two an item?”
- I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
(from)
Something all too familiar for people who tech support for their families.
Hannibal Burress shares some humorous observations on work and other things.
Corporate Comedian Dave Fleming with some office humor oneliners.
Even animals have stand-up comedians:
<UKDJ|Planet> I’ve just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o…k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
